It’s like my heart is trying to hug my brain.

As you perhaps could have guessed from this episode’s weird title, this 22-minutes was all over the place. None of the three plots were particularly strong, but a totally weird ending montage made me die laughing.

Kenneth is addicted to caffeine and it’s all Tracy’s fault. It is moderately humorous.

Jack and CC try to make their relationship work, despite their professional obligations. The best parts of this include a miners’ village and German television executives.

German television is probably like this?

German television is probably like this?

Liz tries to buy a co-op and gets overly attached, going through all the stages of a bad relationship and a clingy ex. The metaphor goes on a little too long. The best part is that the leader of the co-op board looks just like my former English professor.

Screenshot 2014-07-28 23.06.24


Jack and CC try to make their relationship work, but screw up everything: CC isn’t at the House to vote against legalizing recreational whale torturing (thanks Bush) and Jack leaves Liz and her limited German in charge of the business deal with the Germans. They meet at the town halfway DC and New York and do romcom things, while one of the town’s residents laments that their town is the halfway point, implying that CC and Jack aren’t too special.

BUT. I used this geographic midpoint finder that John Green taught me about and their midpoint is not in Pennsylvania! The halfway point between 30 Rockefeller Plaza and the House Rayburn Office Building is in the great state of Delaware:

Screenshot 2014-07-28 23.09.17 Screenshot 2014-07-28 23.09.44

Admittedly it’s near the border, but it’s not in PA or a small mining town. Wilmington isn’t as funny of a place, I guess.

So Jack and CC break up, and Jack tries to dole out some wisdom to Liz: “All this time I’ve been telling you that we can have it all. … They [love and work] both require everything of you. You have to choose.” 😦

Liz doesn’t believe him but he reminds her she picked business over love when it came to Floyd. 😦

Anyway, this unexceptional episode becomes amazing when Kenneth decides that New York has corrupted him and he needs to go back to Georgia. After like three mentions of Gladys Knight being the musical guest, Tracy, Grizz and Dotcom begin potentially the greatest group musical number in the history of this show:

Sadly I cannot embed it, because I only found it on Vulture, so click here please.

And Gladys Knight herself appears.

Unclear if this beats my favorite version of this song though:

#teamRDJ #always

Bits & Pieces


Most Jack line: “The founding fathers never intended for the poor to live into their 40s.”

Most Jonathan line: “Jack will be CEO and I will be king of the assistants!”

Most Tracy line: “Regrets are for horseshoes and handbags.”

Best continuity: “I’m a great neighbor, ask anyone in my building, except Raheem.”

Kenneth was Grizz’s wingman at speed dating. If only we got to see that on-screen.

Killy Ripa is Jack’s “having-it-all” role model.

Liz drunkenly sings “You Oughta Know” to the co-op board. I love you Liz.

Jenna knows a good porn site that doesn’t sacrifice story. I love you Jenna.

Character I related to most: Dotcom, because he really just wants to see “Spamalot.”

Hints that Kenneth is immortal/mystical/terrifying: Normal people don’t react to caffeine that way…