Why is leaving your children a legacy that will live forever so hard? It’s been thirty minutes.

There are only two more episodes in season 2 after this once, which is unfortunate. Curse you WGA writers’ strike of 2007-2008! What a dark time.

Thankfully we got this amazing episode to tide us over. Undoubtedly, this was the nerdiest episode since the Hapsburg Prince of season 1, but its nerdiness only comes through midway through the episode.

Tracy, realizing he needs to leave a legacy his kids can be proud of, decides to invent a porn video game. He presents the idea to Frank, who explains the uncanny valley to him using “Star Wars” characters as his good examples (We hadn’t gotten a “Star Wars” reference in a while), and Tom Hanks in “The Polar Express” as his bad example. WHICH IS TRUE.

The only good thing about this movie is the Josh Groban song.

Anyway, so Tracy says, “I’m like Mozart. you’re like that guy that was always jealous of Mozart.” Frank reminds us that his name was Salieri.

And then only Mozart music plays for the rest of the episode! Because, like “Amadeus,” this is a story about epic rivalries.

Jack and Devon are fighting for the CEO job, and Frank is the Salieri to Tracy’s pornographic Mozart.

At the episode’s beginning, we find out that Don Geiss has picked Jack as his successor, and Jack uses his one lifetime cry in his moment of joy.

I want my mother to know before she dies so she can go to her grave a defeated woman.

Still, Devon Banks is afoot and Jack knows it’s not over until it’s over.

But when Liz throws herself at Devon in order to blackmail him, Jack knows she should be his successor and brings her into the amazing world of mid-level NBC executives. This was a great episode for my Liz and Jack friendship feels. I don’t know if you noticed, but I just love their friendship so much. And this episode really let it blossom.

And we get two of the most iconic lines in the history of “30 Rock”:


That gif might be the Liz Lemon moment I identify most with, since moi aussi, je parle un peu de francais.

Anyway, Don Geiss tells Devon he’s giving it to Jack and is pretty depressed about it. He tells Jack, “It’s like when Christian won ‘Project Runway’ even though Rami was clearly the better draper.” Which is probably the worst analysis of “Project Runway” ever, because all Rami did was drape things and he really didn’t have the same creative vision as Christian who, coincidentally, is like by far the most famous PR winner. So wow, your judgement sucks Devon.

Meanwhile, Tracy is running himself into the ground trying to make this game. Frank helps him, JUST LIKE SALIERI, but will this break Tracy’s spirit? WE HAVE NO WAY OF KNOWING.

Speaking of which! Liz forgets to give Don Geiss food, so he goes into a diabetic coma. Who do you call when there’s a medical emergency?

Guess what's playing as he runs dramatically down the hall! MOZART.

Guess what’s playing as he runs dramatically down the hall! MOZART.

And Tracy is saying things like “My genius is coming alive, like toys when your back is turned.” And Frank is yelling things like: “I’VE GIVEN MY WHOLE LIFE TO PORN AND HE DOES IT IN ONE DAY.”

Sorry Salieri

Sorry Salieri

It’s a great montage.

Ummmm but shockingly Dr. Spaceman is incapable of helping Geiss, who enters a diabetic coma.

Devon goes behind Jack’s back (“I tried to call you but not on a phone so you may not have heard me.”) to get a new CEO installed, one that will keep the Geiss family intact:

Screenshot 2014-08-01 21.02.40

Let’s be real:

So things don’t end so well for Jack, but they did turn out well for  me when Dr. Spaceman referenced by favorite “30 Rock” inside joke with myself:

Screenshot 2014-08-01 21.00.16


Perfect Pairing

The perfect episode pair for this is “The Job,””The Office” Season 3 finale, which I watched while writing this post. Michael, Jim, and Karen (what’s up, Rashida Jones?) are all up for a job at corporate. Michael, like Jack, is assuming it’s a done deal, though, unlike Jack, he has absolutely no to think this. And then Michael doesn’t get it. And ends up with Jan again. So this was not a good 42 minutes for him.

This episode also has a rivalry at its center, Karen vs. Pam. Though their rivalry is much more passive aggressive. Actually, calling it a rivalry makes it sound weird? They just both really like Jim?

Pam and liz actually have very similar series arcs. They start out very willing to settle for what they have — Pam settles for Roy, Liz settles for her gross spinsterhood — and then grow and change and take charge of their destiny and become happy. Yay ladiez!

And Michael picks Dwight to be his successor, just like Jack picks Liz. Similarly, Liz has no plan similar to Schrute Bucks:

Screenshot 2014-08-01 22.22.17

One more similarity!

Screenshot 2014-08-01 22.16.49

Bits & Pieces

The head of the stress ball division hanged himself because the race for Don Geiss’ job was too stressful.

I hate when Jenna is absent for a whole episode.  😥

Liz is eating Sabor De Soledad when Jack finds her hiding from the writers and reading about scientists who live with gorillas, which seems to be her dream (?).

Best Devon one-liner: “Like taking candy from one of those guys that gives out candy at gay night clubs.”

Sometimes Lutz calls in sick with March Madness. Honestly, this almost seems too clever for Lutz.

Jack has a naughty stool for Jonathan when he’s bad, and Jonathan loves sitting on it? I love this.

Character I related to most: Liz. See above.

Liz spends most of the first act of the episode running around in her TGS sweatshirt. Again, my birthday is Monday…

Tracy’s description of Han Solo: “He acts like he doesn’t care, but he does.” True life.

Where Liz sees herself in 5 years: “Realistically, teaching improv on a cruise ship.”

Hints that Kenneth is immortal/mystical/terrifying: When he says, “Everyone knows the only thing we should be ashamed of is our bodies.”