This is the most exciting day of my life and I was once pulled on stage to dance at a Bruce Springsteen concert.

I also forgot this episode existed. On the one hand, I want to blame binge-watching for my memory gaps, but, again, this just wasn’t that great of an episode. I mean, better than most of television! But not particularly memorable.

Our plots:

1) Jack’s friend Gavin Volure, a rich recluse, falls hard for Liz. She’s into it because he’s germaphobic and won’t touch her, and all she wants out of a relationship is someone to watch TV with.

2) Except Gavin is really a criminal under house arrest, and he steals Jack and Kenneth’s money. Jack tries to get Kenneth’s money back.

3) Tracy is afraid his kids are trying to kill him and uses a Japanese sex doll as a body double.

It seemed sort of unfair that Jack got to run around with Jennifer Aniston last episode, and this episode Liz gets Steve Martin, who’s like one of the not hot famous old white guys. Though she will get a really attractive boyfriend this season so…

The Tracy plot was honestly the funniest:

Screenshot 2014-08-07 22.50.46

And then at the end Tracy and his sex doll did a “The more you know” PSA about discrimination against sex dolls:

Screenshot 2014-08-07 22.54.40

Also there was a LOT of Jack-Liz this episode. Jack tells Gavin that Liz is single and “I told him you used to have a thing for me but are getting over it. That is what’s happening, right?” Then, after he realizes Gavin lied, he promises to “hit him harder than a bottle of Irish whiskey at a wake.” And he tells Gavin that Liz is too good for him.

The latter two comments could easily just be platonic, except that that first comment happened too. I guess it’s supposed to be a reflection of Jack’s arrogance, but I don’t know.

Bits & Pieces

Best Frank hat: Role model

John McEnroe was in this episode. It was random, but I liked it.

Kenneth has $4000 in Confederate money.

I miss Josh.

Three great lines about rich people/capitalism:

Gavin to Jack: You’ll be so rich you can run for office without pretending to be a fundamentalist!

Jack to Kenneth: Next stop home ownership! I’m kidding, the middle class is dying. You’ll rent forever

Kenneth to Jack: What would this country be if the economy didn’t allow rich people to take advantage of rubes?

JACK WRITES HISTORICAL FICTION THAT IMAGINES WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IN THE GERMANS WON WORLD WAR II. What a nerd.

Hints that Kenneth is immortal/mystical/terrifying: Well the Confederate money seems pretty suspect.

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