You’re like a swarthy, big-hipped Kelly Ripa.

Two of this week’s plots focused on our beloved characters switching jobs, and the other launched Tracy Jordan on the greatest quest of all time: an EGOT. Suffice it to say, I love this episode.

At the episode’s start, Jack and Liz are gearing up to film the pilot for “Dealbreakers” (are they called pilots if they’re for talk shows?) and everything is great. Until Devon calls to tell Jack that, since they received stimulus money, if the talk show doesn’t work out, he’ll take the fall in some public and embarrassing way. It was a little contrived, but it raised the stakes, so I won’t complain too much.

Jack, panicked, gets in Liz’s mind grapes and freaks her out a little. She gets off-brand eye surgery from Dr. Spaceman (#poorchoices) and gets a really awful haircut that reminded me a lot of Hannah Horvath’s similarly horrible ‘do on “GIRLS.”

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Liz turns into Jenna and locks herself in her dressing room, crying out of her mouth (thanks, Dr. Spaceman) and Jenna has to help get her out (they just take the door off its hinges).

So Jack is Liz and Liz is Jenna and Frank is Liz too because she left him in charge and the pressure has changed him:

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One of the great side effects of this Liz plot is that it helped humanize Jenna, since the job of an actress was portrayed as pretty sick and inherently crazy. Liz’s mental breakdown helps us get why Jenna is so unhinged. Unclear if that was the intention, but works belong to their readers watchers.

Meanwhile, Angie won’t give Tracy the daughter he wants until he steps up his parenting game. He agrees to buy the Christmas presents to prove his responsibility. Instead he buys this:

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Emmy. Grammy. Oscar. Tony. Wikipedia calls it the “Grand Slam of Show Business.” The most recent member of the club is Robert Lopez, who wrote “Let It Go” (and all the other music from Frozen”), the Score for “Avenue Q” and “The Book of Mormon” and won Emmys for writing the music for “The Wonder Pets.” He’s also the youngest member of the club, the person who did it fastest, and his kids go to the school I attended for high school. (Poly Prep, where you at?) (Right here.)

Anyway, Angie tells Tracy he can have a duaghter after he EGOTs. Tracy gets that musicians win this award the most easily, so he tries to write the most popular song of all time. Which isn’t easy. So EGOT member Whoopi Goldberg tells him his EGOT needs to come from the heart, so he decides to work at the EGOT thing, and Angie agrees to try for a girl too. Yay!

So while the Dealbreakers plot comes to a close, the Tracy-EGOT saga is just beginning. Fasten your seatbelts, nerds.

Bits & Pieces

Star Wars reference: Tracy wants to name his daughter Chewbaquina.

ASTRONAUT MIKE DEXTER APPEARS IN LIZ’S FANTASY.

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Jenna’s nemesis is Jenny McCarthy, which I think is really a reflection that Jenna is deeply insecure, because Jenna is so obviously superior to her. I mean, Jenna can sing like an angel, did some solid acting work in “The Rural Juror” and is presumably funny. Jenny McCarthy is … blonde.

Pete again mentions his mental breakdown, like how he’s “been shop lifting just to feel in control” and how he got a back tattoo that says freedom in Chinese. Jack and Liz actually back away slowly. I am forever #TeamPete.

Character I related to most: Liz when she compares something to a movie, Jack says he’s never seen it, she tells him the ending, and he says, “I didn’t say I wasn’t going to see it.” I do this to people all the time. Oops.

Kenneth didn’t do anything scary.

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