You always know you’re at the right party when it feels like the riddler is about the attack.

I have literally never related to Liz more than I did in this episode. She attends a bunch of singles events at the Y, but is way too competitive during dodgeball, only meets gay men during square dancing, and is super judgmental during wine and cheese (which is literally my favorite activity, being judgmental while drinking wine).

But this is me. Oh, I’m romantically interested in someone? Let me show how great I am by kicking his ass in Mario Kart, or taking a board game too seriously. I’m not even good at sports and I’m competitive about them!

And then Liz describes my ideal man:

I want someone who will be monogamous and nice to his mother. And I want someone who likes musicals, but knows to just shut his mouth when I’m watching “Lost.” And I want someone who thinks being really into cars is lame, and strip clubs are gross. I want someone who will actually empty the dishwasher instead of just taking out forks as needed – like I do. I want someone with clean hands and feet and beefy forearms, like a damned Disney prince. And I want him to genuinely like me. Even when I’m old. And that’s what I want.

This is literally Cris, by the way.

Don’t worry baby — happiness is coming. Just hold on —

(This episode was mostly about the Jack – Avery – Nancy triangle. This triangle annoys me because Nancy is the clear winner. This is all I will say.)