We’re just friends, it’s platonic. I have elaborate fantasies of her husband dying in a boat explosion.

THE HALF WAY POINT. WOO.

Things have slowed down lately because of some not-fun stuff going on in my life, but we made it anyway. Yay!

And what a great midway point. It’s January and Liz and Pete think it’s a great idea to bring TGS to Miami for a week to boost morale. Jack, desperate to see Julianne Moore Nancy Donovan, makes them bring the show to Boston instead, which makes everyone more miserable.

1. Liz decides to unite the staff around a common enemy, an NBC exec she made up, named Dale Snitterman. Except that’s a real person and they all rally to beat him up. She takes the moral low road and never comes clean. Snitterman is truffle shuffled by Lutz.

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2. Jack tries to buy Nancy’s house so she’ll divorce her husband. She admits she’s not ready. He promises “I’ll wait. Not forever.” She replies, “I’ll try. Wicked hard.” This plot line is worth it for all the Boston jokes.

3. Tracy goes on a Freedom tour and hassles John Hancock about his slaves. John Hancock gets really defensive and even brings his black friend Crispus Attucks around to prove he’s not racist. But Tracy knows Crispus Attucks died in the Boston Massacre so they were never really friends. Tracy’s knowledge of American history is wonderful. Best line though is “Don’t let this slave-owning time traveller fool us again.”

Bits & Pieces

My friends recently went on a freedom tour in Boston. John Hancock was not on it. I’m disappointed.

Toofer is still playing the Obama song.

Lutz orders lunch twice and makes horrible choices. Foreshadowing!

All the guys on “Bruins Beat” are named Sean.

Jenna sends dirty texts to Cheyenne Jackson. No one blames her.

Nancy makes fun of New Yorkers, because they’re all like “Let’s get divorced. You marry the butler and I’ll be a gay octomom.” Jack counters that everyone in Boston names their daughters Bellichek. Valid criticisms on both sides.

Kenneth was really mean this episode. I didn’t like it. #WinterMadness

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